Yes, I am Celibate and I am Proud!!

March of 2009 I officially vowed celibacy for God and for myself [I have been celibate for almost a year and 7 months]. However, the last time I had sex was December2008/January of 2009. I admit, I was a horn ball, and I'm pretty sure I was just lusting after my ex. We were having sex nearly everyday.. more than once a day. He moved to New Jersey September '08, and the last time I ever had sex with him was New Year's Eve when I went to visit  him. So, at this point... I was abstinent-by choice..because I did have opportunities to sleep with other people [just saying], but I remained faithful during this period.

As time went on, I shortly realized that things just weren't going to work between us so we broke up. Which was one of the best decisions I've made in my life to date. Actually, I believe God broke us up because at this point, He was calling me to come back to Him. Thankfully, I obeyed. Anywho, my battle with fornication began to really take a toll on me! I was being tempted left and right and didn't know how to handle it. Everything was just happening so fast and I wasn't prepared. I wasn't really renewing my mind with the word, I just knew I didn't want to have sex again until marriage. I didn't quite know the true meaning of celibacy, so I was still a slave to my sin.

I didn't realize that simply thinking about sex was just as bad as having it. It was REALLY hard for me lol That's when I happened to realize my thoughts were keeping me from true salvation. Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath commited adultry with her already in his heart. SEE?? My thoughts still had me bound to fornication, and I was telling God that this is what my heart wanted. But this IS NOT what God wanted to me. So once I realized that I was still in sin, I began to renew my mind. And this is still an ongoing process. Renewing your mind is a daily thing, and everyday I strive to be a better person than I was yesterday.

Now, my definition of celibacy is different than when I first started. It's abstaining from any type of sexual behavior, which includes oral sex, foreplay and passionate kissing. I know some of you are thinking.. "kissing!?" It's because most guys would feel as if that kissing could possibly lead to something else. And I'm trying to avoid that "something else" by all means possible. Would I kiss someone? Yes, if I really felt like they're a person I'd want to be with in the future...but now, it would take a while for me to even feel that way about a person. Since I'm like the singlest person you could ever meet, staying celibate isn't so hard. What makes this even better, is now I have ground rules to keep me as pure as possible! And in turn, this will help me weed out those who only want that one that one thing, from those who are willing to wait and get to know me for who I am and actually respect my decision and stand for Christ. Praise God, it will be worth the wait knowing that I will be in a marriage rooted in Christ and actually doing things for the advancement of the Kingdom!

**Scriptures referring to the sin of Fornication [I suggest that everyone should take a look at these]:
I Corinthians 6:9-10, I Corinthians 6:13, I Corinthians 6:18-20, I Thessalonians 4:3, Hebrews 13:4

 MY THEME SONG!!
 

Let's stop faking this..

I am about to keep it SO REAL right now, so...if you don't want to get convicted, HATE the truth, and want to continue to live in sin, I suggest you stop reading here.

So.... just because you go to church every Sunday [or on a "regular basis"], got saved/baptized [a few times], speak in tongues, tithe, and all that other stuff, DOES NOT mean you're going to Heaven. Let's be honest. I was on Twitter the other day and someone said "If you die in church, do you automatically go to Heaven??" DUDE!! lol I don't know if they were joking or if they were serious but I almost flipped my wig! I had to log off and calm down LOL you can do all these religious things, but if your heart isn't right, NONE of this matters! *read* I Corinthians 13:1-3 I, myself need to work on walking in love, because man...sometimes the flesh wants you to submit and act off emotions. Romans 8:5-6 If you like, you can go back and read my blog about emotions, it's just another way for the enemy to contain you.

Christians ARGUE about religious traditions entirely too much. This lady told me her mom and her mother-in-law argued when they met at her wedding about what kind of anointing oil to use and other meager "spiritual" things.  Some people get so wrapped up in the traditions of religion they forget about the 2 most IMPORTANT commandments... "Thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind." Matthew 22:37 "And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." Matthew 22:39 But, if you constantly argue with a person and hold strife in your heart about religious traditions...how can you say you love God. I John 4:20 I honestly believe, all these religious technicalities are another way to keep us from focusing on giving God all the glory. Some people are just too focused on having to get saved, speaking in tongues, prophesying, tithing and giving, having all the faith, we often forget the most important thing..to LOVE.

I'm going to take this further to say, even IF you stop living in sin, [fornicating, lying, stop getting drunk, cut off friends who are of the world, stop clubbing, etc] that's only a start! Change really has to be in your heart! If you stop all this...it's only in vein because the truth is, Jesus still doesn't know you! This is something that I'm still struggling with today man, so don't think I think I'm better than you, that's DEFINITELY not the case. I'm speaking to myself right now as well as those of you who took the time to read this. God wants the CLEAN part of your heart. Pastor Justin Cox of P4CM recently did a sermon and some of this is inspired by some of the things he said. [I suggest you watch it on the website P4CM, there are 3 diff videos; it's a series] But he made it so clear, that circumcision, or...getting saved/baptism is only the physical...you can do all this and still be the same person you were yesterday. Circumcision/baptism should take place in the HEART. Take a look at Jeremiah 4:4 and Romans 2:29

Let's not get so wrapped up in all these religious technicalities and lies the devil tells you. Fornication is NEVER okay in God's eyes. Envy, lust, greed, homosexuality [Romans 1:25-32, Leviticus 19:22, Leviticus 20:13], sodomy, sexual immorality, slothfulness, hate [the Bible says if you hate your brother, you're a murderer], drunkenness, SIN is just a subtle way...no, actually, it's a very BOLD way to tell God you hate Him and everything that He stands for. **I must say...you are not born a homosexual, a sexual predator, a murderer, a thief, etc..you are born into iniquity! Satan does not care how old you are, all he wants to do ruin everything God has made. Once you can learn and accept that, which is the truth, you can then trust and believe in God's word.** So...reading the Bible is VERY important...don't trust what I say, your pastor says, or anyone...read it! Interpret it! Understand it [Proverbs 4:7]! Read different translations-- BibleGateway -- there are different translations on this site, and it's VERY helpful. Learn the truth! "Just knowing the truth doesn't set you free, continuing and being consistent in practicing the truth makes you free." -Creflo Dollar

So...let me end this on a good note. Hopefully people will learn to accept the truth gracefully. [If you ever see me doing something outside the word of God PLEASE CORRECT me IN LOVE of course lol] In the words of my good friend Phillip Shobo, "When the Bible says "do not judge," it means don't condemn that person to Hell. Reprimanding the ACT not the person isn't judging."

I LOVE ALL OF YOU [believe that!!], and I pray that God has spoken to your heart today in a way that can help you change for the better. He has definitely touched mine as I wrote this. And PLEASE!!! Check out this BEAUTIFUL SONG!! WHOO!! It has BLESSED ME SOOOOO MUCH!! lol

♥Mari

Conviction...what an experience...

Last night, I was working on a sermon and wanted to go back and read James 4, as I was going to put James 4:7 in my sermon/speech. I've read the entire Book of James before, even have some things highlighted. But, last night, it seemed as if those words were popping out at me. Usually when I read I'll read other translations while reading my King James Version. Each translation just seemed to convict me more and more. As I kept reading it, I began remembering how much wrong I've done, and have yet to repent for. I began to cry uncontrollably. It was just like I had some type of revelation or something.

For a while, I haven't really been feeling like I've been moving on my path as a believer and just felt stuck. And I've been asking God for a couple of weeks WHY!? Why do I feel STUCK!? And seemingly got no answer. I had dreams, but couldn't make sense of any of them. Then I just started feeling like, I was doing something wrong, so I started praying for clarity. So, last night, reading James 4 and getting/feeling convicted was a huge step for me. I realized that I have been walking as an adulterous lover with God. There are/were things in my life that, I wanted to keep but God was telling me to let go. I was being SO selfish. And though I knew that these things/people(person) wasn't good for me, I just wanted to keep them around. All the while, in the back of my head I KNEW God has had His hand all over me. He was in the middle of the relationship tearing us apart because it was toxic and was of no way beneficial to me. Or for a better picture, He was holding me back by my shirt while I'm still trying to run towards the things that aren't good for me.

Man, I just felt SO guilty, and SO unworthy of His presence. I realized why some things were the way they were! I just continued to cry and at this point just had to close my Bible because I felt like WHO AM I to go out and speak the Holy Gospel of the LORD when I can't even get some things straight in life. I mean...it's HYPOCRITICAL right!? So I just thanked God for this conviction and went to bed [puffy eyed], I didn't even feel comfortable talking to Him about anything else.

I woke up..remembering and just meditating on what happened last night and went on getting ready for work. [Of course the very first thing I did was drop to my knees]. Now, usually, on my way to work, I listen to Corinne Bailey Rae, but today, about 5 min before I got out the car I turned on the radio. And this song was playing, I believe it's a new song by M. D. Stokes  "Changes (Bye-bye)." I began to tear up! The song...was practically about me! It was like God was speaking to me THROUGH this song, it was RIGHT on time! That's when I was like... it's time to MOVE FORWARD. Even though, people bring up what I've done in my past..(even those close to me), and some relationships had to be abruptly ended, I know that God's will, WILL be done. So, I'm saying all this to say that CONVICTION, is a beautiful thing. It was/is something I need(ed) in order to grow and become the person God wants me to be. Though I'm not where I want/should be, I'm not who I used to be. PRAISE THE LORD (PTL) THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME SO MUCH TO CONVICT ME! The LORD disciplines the ones He Loves. Hebrews 12:4-8

-Mari ❤

Today's Music Industy...what's the friggin deal!?

We ALL know there's a lot of buzz about your favorite secular artists being apart of the Illuminati. And recently, I found out one of my favorite bands are suspect. Which shocked the heck out of me! lol The way I understand it, a lot of today's videos are filled with satanic symbolism and are a way to brainwash the masses. Do I think Satanism is real? I have to say yes. There ARE good and evil forces in this world. There are people who shed light, and those who bring darkness. Have you ever noticed how sometimes a person can walk in the room and the whole atmosphere changes... whether it's a positive or negative feeling.

I haven't been listening to much rap, pop or any secular music until recently. A lot of people on Twitter talk about the newest videos that come out. So I hit YouTube up to see what was going on in the world. I've seen about 10 videos that I can find 100000000000 things wrong with. And in some of those videos, the Satanic symbolism is so blatant, it would make one think this has GOT to be a joke, there's no way they can be serious. Not only that, there are other videos and songs that clearly promote selling drugs, having sex with numerous people, getting drunk, high, doing other drugs and the list goes on. Do I really need to start naming names? *Sidenote* [I can't honestly say if any artist "worships" satan, but some of their work makes them really suspect.]

Two of my friends, as well as myself, are interested in acting. What does this have to do with anything? Well, as I digress, they both went to audition for a very popular reality show about a year ago. They were asked what their talents were and for both, it's singing. They were asked to come back for day 2 of auditions and one of my friends was told, something to the effect of "There are a lot of girls dying to get on this show and all off them are willing to lick it, suck it, and then some, what about you?" Mind you, the casting director claimed to be a Christian, and he quoted Bible scriptures off the top of his head. But clearly....something is wrong with that picture. If you don't know, Satan knows the Bible better than anybody and has ways of deceiving you. So when my friend gave him a piece of her mind for approaching her in that manner, of course...his real spirit came out and he wasn't too happy about her stance of living a righteous life. This is when I first realized that this stuff--good and evil forces--is real. I wasn't always a "Souled out" Christian..as many of you know, my walk began about a year ago.

So why are so many people blind to what today's music has come to?? A lot of artists are blatant with their blasphemes as well, and I'm NOT just talking about that whole "Empire state of mind" lyric controversy either. "But if these cats rap and sing about evil soooo much could it be that you're listening to a demon flow??" Check out the poem by Jose Palos entitled "Music"...

And check out the two interviews done at the BET awards at the end of this blog.

The reason I cut out a lot of music is because I was getting convicted every time I picked up the Bible. Most of today's music, music videos, and even television and movies are about things God hates. James 4:4 Romans 8:5-7 Romans 12:2 Colossians 2:8 Now, I'm not saying Christians are placed in this small box where having fun isn't possible, because a lot of people try to make it seem like Christians can't do anything fun. Which is a trick of containment. Do not be deceived and as I said in one of my previous posts, don't add on to His commands. Living a righteous life can be hard if you've been living a certain way for so long, but YOU CAN HAVE FUN and live a life worthy of the Gospel! And just know, I'm not forcing any religion or belief on anyone. What you chose to believe in or not believe is your own personal preference. There's a bigger issue at hand, beyond the satanic symbolism and Illuminati speculation.

The problem is today's music and how young kids, as young as 2 years old are singing about sex and getting drunk [repeating the songs they hear]!! And we wonder why the world is the way it is today!? I know of kids who started having sex at 10 years old [SMH] and have been drinking before then! I mean, the other day, a coworker told me how she was at a middle school and a child no older than 12 years old said "Dam* they got some bad B*tches up here." Are you serious!? I think it's ridiculous!

What are your thoughts and/or feelings about today's music industry...or entertainment industry? Me..? I don't think I can take it anymore. Sometimes I just wish I could crawl into a hole until change comes.