I AM not my hair..? Opinions please!

For many black girls, the norm for what our hair should look like is straight. So, what do most people do? They get a relaxer. But for many of the girls/women who get relaxers, their hair begins to thin and ultimately break off in a recurring cycle...which makes it seems like their hair can't grow. But, why is it a social reproach for us to embrace out natural roots? With a little taming, being natural can be done. Especially since the invention of the beloved flat iron! Why would you continue to put harmful chemicals in your hair and watch it get thinner and thinner? It's a devastating experience to watch your hair fall out. Let me share my hair journey with you guys.

Growing up, I wasn't allowed to get a relaxer, and my mom is the one who did my hair. I mainly kept my hair in braids. When I got in high school, this changed. I discovered there were other straightening tools OTHER than the hot comb. Once I found a decent beautician I began getting my hair pressed..which was very expensive due to the thickness and length of my hair! I then put hi-lights in my hair and shortly after things began to change. My beautician started working out of her house, which was too far for me to travel. So, I switched to another beautician who worked in the same shop. The first time I went to her she CHOPPED trimmed my hair. Her excuse.... my ends were bad...LOL but my previous beautician kept my hair healthy so that was obviously a lie wrong. After so many times of my hair growing back and her CUTTING trimming it over and over, I couldn't take it anymore. So I changed beauticians. I began getting more color and trusting that she was taking care of my hair. My hair began breaking off...starting in the back. Next thing I know, a huge patch of my hair broke off tremendously. A big clump was about 3"-4" long! I couldn't believe it! I changed beauticians for a 3rd time and had no choice but to cut my hair. Which was a very depressing experience for me! lol After my hair was cut I stopped going to the beautician for a couple of months hoping my hair would grow but all that kept happening was a cycle of my hair growing and breaking off! I didn't know what to do... NOW, about 2 years after the cut and 1 beautician later my hair is finally healthy again! Growing.

Now I'm experimenting with my hair trying to figure out what my hair likes. Right now, it's curly/crinkly and very thick! But, in a weird way, I love it! I can wear it straight if I want to but my hair in its natural state is more convenient especially in the summer time.. I won't having to worry about my edges "sweating out." {BTW, I love weeves!} LOL MY question for you ladies and GENTLEMEN is which do you prefer? Ladies, do you like to wear your straight, relaxed, or in its natural state? Guys, which are you more attracted to? Does it even make a difference?