March of 2009 I officially vowed celibacy for God and for myself [I have been celibate for almost a year and 7 months]. However, the last time I had sex was December2008/January of 2009. I admit, I was a horn ball, and I'm pretty sure I was just lusting after my ex. We were having sex nearly everyday.. more than once a day. He moved to New Jersey September '08, and the last time I ever had sex with him was New Year's Eve when I went to visit him. So, at this point... I was abstinent-by choice..because I did have opportunities to sleep with other people [just saying], but I remained faithful during this period.
As time went on, I shortly realized that things just weren't going to work between us so we broke up. Which was one of the best decisions I've made in my life to date. Actually, I believe God broke us up because at this point, He was calling me to come back to Him. Thankfully, I obeyed. Anywho, my battle with fornication began to really take a toll on me! I was being tempted left and right and didn't know how to handle it. Everything was just happening so fast and I wasn't prepared. I wasn't really renewing my mind with the word, I just knew I didn't want to have sex again until marriage. I didn't quite know the true meaning of celibacy, so I was still a slave to my sin.
I didn't realize that simply thinking about sex was just as bad as having it. It was REALLY hard for me lol That's when I happened to realize my thoughts were keeping me from true salvation. Proverbs 23:7 For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he. Matthew 5:28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath commited adultry with her already in his heart. SEE?? My thoughts still had me bound to fornication, and I was telling God that this is what my heart wanted. But this IS NOT what God wanted to me. So once I realized that I was still in sin, I began to renew my mind. And this is still an ongoing process. Renewing your mind is a daily thing, and everyday I strive to be a better person than I was yesterday.
Now, my definition of celibacy is different than when I first started. It's abstaining from any type of sexual behavior, which includes oral sex, foreplay and passionate kissing. I know some of you are thinking.. "kissing!?" It's because most guys would feel as if that kissing could possibly lead to something else. And I'm trying to avoid that "something else" by all means possible. Would I kiss someone? Yes, if I really felt like they're a person I'd want to be with in the future...but now, it would take a while for me to even feel that way about a person. Since I'm like the singlest person you could ever meet, staying celibate isn't so hard. What makes this even better, is now I have ground rules to keep me as pure as possible! And in turn, this will help me weed out those who only want that one that one thing, from those who are willing to wait and get to know me for who I am and actually respect my decision and stand for Christ. Praise God, it will be worth the wait knowing that I will be in a marriage rooted in Christ and actually doing things for the advancement of the Kingdom!
**Scriptures referring to the sin of Fornication [I suggest that everyone should take a look at these]:
I Corinthians 6:9-10, I Corinthians 6:13, I Corinthians 6:18-20, I Thessalonians 4:3, Hebrews 13:4
MY THEME SONG!!
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