I am so broken

This poem is by far one of my most personal and it goes so much deeper than this, so sharing this is kind of hard. At the end of this post, I've posted a video of the song that helped me follow through with posting this. Lol I don't really WANT to but... I should because...what glory can God get out of it if I keep it to myself!? It's definitely inspired by the Holy Spirit and I pray that it speaks you. There's no way I'm the only on who's dealt with or is dealing with this Ecclesiastes 1:9 says there's no new thing under the sun! lol I'm not trying to make light of this poem, just trying to uh... loosen things up. *nervous* Okay so now I'll just... reveal and release... AMEN

I... am so... broken
So many words unspoken
It's like the hopeless, hoping
Wake up in the morning, who do you see?
Is that me? Nah, it can't be!
Cuz God, He wouldn't do that to me
Not this hair, these lips, this nose, these eyes
But when did I get to this point where I'd start to despise?
Myself and Him for creating me this way
Take one more look in the mirror, so much to say...
If my nose was just a little slimmer
If only my hair just had a looser curl
If my face was just a little more symmetrical
THEN, I'd feel like a beautiful girl
I mean, isn't that what defines beauty in the world?
They say, "you're so skinny, you should gain weight!"
Or how about, "you're too fat, you should lay off of the cupcakes."
Ever thought it's comments like these that lead to self hate!?
And MAN! I don't know how many times I've heard, "your body ain't perfect till it looks like Beyonce's"
But hold up, who gave YOU any say?
It was your unrealistic ideals that made me feel this way, in the first place
Contradicting EVERYTHING my Heavenly Father had to say
My thoughts were so clouded by your negative views and opinions
I couldn't focus on Him who already gave me authority and dominion
WE are all BROKEN & WE ALL fall short of the glory
Falling short... is everybody's life story
No one sin is greater than the other
So me hating myself, makes me a cold-blooded killer
See, every believer has their own personal battle
It could be adultery or self-hate, I just chose the latter
I've straddled... for too long
Now I'm presenting myself bare before Him
No more of that spiritual Mac make-up
Because it only becomes sin... caked up
I'm confessing everything that grieves my soul
And because God knows my heart,
I can't play the, "I'm so Holy" role anymore
This self-hate struggle won't be my, "Get into Hell free token"
Heavenly Father make me whole, because I... am so... broken

This song was on my heart while mustering up the courage to post this. LOL OH SO RELEVANT!